the good news

in all of these trials is that i believe we have met our deductible for the year already! syd now has hives today, which means we will probably be heading back to the doctors office to check out why? we went and bought some bendryl and some cortizone cream and now she is resting and not itching.

at my breaking point

after 3 hours in the urgent care last night, because they could not fit sydnie into the pediatric clinic, we finally came home with a diagnosis that she had coughed to hard. that is why she could not breathe and her chest hurt and she spiked a fever to 102.2! HUH???? no pneumonia, but they told me to still continue to watch for it in the coming weeks, especially given her history. i believe that God can heal sydnie from this and that she will walk away from this crud with nothing more than anyone else. but.........................

i was awake for most of the night, tossing and turning, using my super mommy ears to listen for the slightest breathing problem. so needless to say........i am exhausted. this is week three of illness in our house. we are right in the middle of upward, which means no husband around and i have not been at my job full-time for three weeks. dealing with the mommy guilt, the job guilt, it is just too much for me right now. emotionally, physically.

i just need to make it through today and then come home and curl up in a little ball for a couple of hours. because God does not give me more than I can handle. I just need to give this whole situation up to Him for He is in control. hopefully my MIL can still come over today, because oh yes.....it is snowing!!!!! can you believe that?

okay feeling much better now. thanks for listening!

If you were a girl in the 70's

I have been meaning to post this since december, but today I found a group on facebook about growing up girl in the 70's and could not resist! When I was a kid, this was my very first perfume! I loved it. I felt so grown up and mature wearing my very own perfume. of course if i was anything like my daughter is now, I sprayed that sucker all over and probably gave everyone around me a headache. lol. I have not thought about it for probably 20 some years, until Syd's bday party when one of her little friends pulled it out of her bag. I was dying. I could not believe that they still make this stuff. I of course had to take a picture of it and thought to myself what a great blog post it would be. he he. so here you go, my post about love's baby soft!!

(my first perfume)

You had that Fisher Price Doctor's Kit with a stethoscope that actually worked.

You owned a bicycle with a banana seat and a plastic basket with flowers on it.

You learned to skate with actual skates (not roller blades) that had metal wheels.

You thought Gopher from Love Boat was cute (admit it!)

You had nightmares after watching Fantasy Island .

You had either a 'bowl cut' or 'pixie', not to mention the 'Dorothy Hamill'. People sometimes thought you were a boy.

You had rubber boots for rainy days and Moon boots for snowy days. YEAH!

You owned a 'Slip-n-Slide', on which you injured yourself on a sprinkler head more than once. You owned 'Klick-Klacks' and smacked yourself in the face more than once!

Your Holly Hobbie sleeping bag was your most prized possession.

You wore a poncho, gauchos, and knickers.

You begged Santa for the electronic game, Simon.

You had the Donnie and Marie dolls with those pink and purple satiny shredded outfits, or the sunshine family

You spent hours in your backyard on your metal swing set with the trapeze. The swing set tipped over at least once.

You had homemade ribbon barrettes in every imaginable color. (Oh yeah!)

You had a pair of Doctor Scholl's sandals (the ones with hard sole & the buckle). You also had a pair of salt-water sandals.

You wanted to be Laura Ingalls Wilder really bad; you wore that Little House on the Prairie-inspired plaid, ruffle shirt with the high neck in at least one school picture; and you despised Nellie Oleson!

You wanted your first kiss to be at a roller rink!

PONG! ('video tennis' ) was the most remarkable futuristic game you've ever heard of !

Your hairstyle was described as having 'wings' or 'feathers' and you kept it 'pretty' with the comb you kept in your back pocket. When you walked, the 'wings' flapped up and down, looked like you were gonna 'take off' .

You know who Strawberry Shortcake is, as well as her friends, Blueberry Muffin and Huckleberry Pie.

You carried a Muppets lunch box to school and it was metal, not plastic. With the thermos inside some were glass inside and broke the first time you dropped them.

You and your girlfriends would fight over which of the Dukes of Hazzard was your boyfriend. YOU had Star Wars action figures, too!

It was a big event in your household each year when the 'Wizard of Oz' would come on TV. Your mom would break out the popcorn and sleeping bags!

You often asked your Magic-8 ball the question: 'Who will I marry. Shaun Cassidy, Leif Garrett, or David Cassidy?'

You completely wore out your Grease, Saturday Night Fever, and Fame soundtrack record album.

You tried to do lots of arts and crafts, like yarn and Popsicle-stick God's eyes, decoupage, or those weird potholders made on a plastic loom.

You made Shrinky-Dinks and put iron-on kittens on your t-shirts!

You used to tape record songs off the radio by holding your portable tape player up to the speaker. Y

ou had subscriptions to Dynamite and Tiger Beat.

You learned everything you needed to know about girl issues from Judy Blume books. (Are you there God, It's me, Margaret.)

You thought Olivia Newton John's song 'Physical' was about aerobics. (?? its not??)

You wore friendship pins on your tennis shoes, or shoelaces with heart or rainbowdesigns.

You wanted to be a Solid Gold dancer.

You drowned yourself in Love's Baby Soft - which was the first 'real' perfume you ever owned.

You glopped your lips in Strawberry Roll-on lip-gloss till it almost dripped off.

Sydnie's Baptism

The Interview - so mature and really well spoken, although I was

totally nervous about what was going to come out of her mouth.

This was an amazing night for dad and daughter. They both were flying higher than a kite and have not stopped talking about it, even today. We had talked to sydnie about baptism off and on for about a year, but we wanted to make sure that she fully understood and was ready to do it on her own. So she took the class with our children's ministry leader and then we waited. We were trying to find a time that my brother would be able to attend, since he is a youth pastor it is hard for him to find someone to fill in for him and he needed to have enough notice. We finally set the date, called my brother and of course as luck would have it, he also had a baptism scheduled for that evening at his church (but no kids to baptize). So we went ahead with the date. Thad was told that he could actually baptize sydnie and that just made the whole experience that much more special. She was so mature and really handled herself well on stage. It can be nerve racking to be in front of an audience and she knew that so she told the pastor that she wanted to speak to him only....no looking at the crowd. Both thad and syd were smiling so hard before and after the dunk. so cute. afterwards she told me that when she was in the water that she wanted to stay in and swim around for awhile. lol. (my little mermaid) It was a night celebrated by family and friends and afterwards we had dessert and sydnie opened a couple of presents from her grandma's and grandpa's.

Truly something that will be remembered all of her life!

great mommy moment

yesterday we were driving to syd's upward game and i heard a thunk in the back

and a stuffed up little voice exclaim: "oh sh_t!!!"

i whip my head around and glare..............

mom: "what did you just say?"

syd: " what?"

mom: "did you just say a bad word?"

syd: "what do you think i said"

mom: "did you just say sh_t?"

syd: "no, i said shoot"

mom: "oh, okay just checking"

syd: "what is sh_t?"

mom: "it is a swear word for poo"

noah: "what is sh_t, sh_t, sh_t?"

i love it when i teach them bad words. lol. of course noah my experimental child says it over and over. syd just starts yelling at him that he is going to get in trouble for saying a bad word. apparently i have never said this word around them before. trust me, in my head i have said this word many, many, many times when they are fighting or i am driving, but apparently i exercies good judgement and did not actually use the word. i say a lot of craps and freakin' but i guess i just don't swear. oh wait, maybe this is a good mommy moment!

today is the day

sydnie's big day today. she is getting baptized this evening!!! she is nervous and excited and she still does not feel good. so please pray for her today as she has to get on stage tonight and share her testimony in front of the whole sanctuary.

First Shot

noah made his first shot today in upward bball. he was targeted as a kid to make a basket, so that meant that the kids, refs and coaches were all helping him make this possible. he took a couple of shots, but was uncomfortable with the whole process. they were short baskets, but then the moment came..............................

the ball was passed to noah, the opposing team was pushed out of the way (literally by their coach) and he took a shot. it missed, opposing coach grabbed the rebound, put it in noah's hand and then he took a shot. it went in. the whole court was cheering and well, i had tears in my eyes. he was so proud of himself.

of course i was filming that moment, so i don't have any pix. but it was a great moment in his life! i am so proud of you buddy.

under the weight of guilt

these past two weeks have been utter and complete sickness around our house. first i had the crud, then my kids both came down with the stomach bug and the cold. it has been a long two week and when you throw a job in on top of it all it is completely different for me than in years past. i have struggled this week with a guilt that i cannot seem to get out of my head. since this is my first time back to work since kids, it has been a new experience for me. i feel guilty that i am forcing them to take some tylenol and go to school, when really they should be at home. i feel guilty that as i was rushing my kids out the door one morning, sydnie was crying and asking me why i was sending her to school when she did not feel good. turns out she had a 102 fever and i had no choice, but to take her to school, put her in the sickroom until my MIL could come and get her. i feel guilty that i have had to miss so much work (5 days!!!). and i feel guilty that i feel guilty. lol.

i know that it will ease up and i have to realize that honestly, i am still their mom and i still need to be there for my kids. sometimes there is nothing more i can do, but stay home with them. i know that my work understands, especially after noah threw up at school. but i am having a hard time reconciling it. it is growing out of my mothers mentality about raising kids and growing into my own.

i think it comes down to the fact that i really want to do my best and if i am not at work i cannot do that. i also do not want to jeopordize my job, i love my job, i want to keep my job. it also is finding that balance between myself and my kids. my job and their lives. it is a year of new discoveries and we have all grown from it. just thought i would be honest about how i have felt, new experiences and also just a release of it, so that i can go on. there i feel better already.

wife swap gone elitist.............

words cannot even describe how i feel about this video. seriously. who does he think he is? to insult another human being, to degrade, to humiliate over and over again. my feeling right now is that he should be exported back to his beloved country, never be allowed to set foot on american soil again. and frankly his wife should go as well. unbelievable. apparently he is too well educated and speaks too well for our little country. just because you are obnoxious and full of put downs, does not mean that you are educated. just because you can let loose with incredibly, horrible put downs does not mean that you are superior. okay i need to stop now. deep breaths....

Happy Valentines Day

this is my date for the evening???? sad, but true. my kids are gone, my husband is working at upward all night and i am stuck at my house with a dog. at least he was excited to see me. lol. i had thought it would be a perfect evening to go to a movie, but then thought it might be a touch pathetic going by myself when it was valentines day. so i decided to stay home and rent some movies. still pathetic, but quiet! i ate my microwave meal and watched my movies and fell asleep on the couch (hey, i am still sick). pathetic, i know. but tomorrow we will go out to dinner without children and make up for today. so hope everyone else enjoyed their evenings! at least i had the dog, right? i know, pathetic....pathetic.

the moment

(always has a smile)

this is was it, the day noah had been waiting for.........his day to shine on the basketball court. if you have read my blog for awhile you know that my adorable little guy is not a natural born athlete. he is my jokester. my happy go lucky little man. but we keep signing him up for sports, knowing that sooner or later it will click and he will (hopefully) love sports.

last weeks game was a nightmare for noah, maybe more for me as i was struggling not to be embarrased. i usually get super frustrated with him and i am more nervous at his games, because i want him to get it. but one person made an innocent comment to me the week prior and it stuck in my brain and i was upset that i was embarrased....because no matter what he is my son and i should support him and love him for who he is, not what i want him to become.

but back to last week's game.........he never gets his hands on the ball, so he just kind of runs around out there and guards his man when he thinks about it. to be fair, he has not really shown the team that he can handle the ball, because he usually shys away from the ball and frankly i am not quite sure he even knew what to do when he got the ball! but last week he was super discouraged and sad that his teammates never pass the ball to him, so we had to have a little talk about why that was and how he could show his teammates that he really could play. it literally broke my heart, i was so sad for him.

so this week, the coach decided it was time for the lesser ball players to get some time with the ball and make sure that people were actually passing. it was noah's first quarter out and the moment came....his friend karston (who always tries to give him the ball, bless his heart) passed the ball to noah! i could tell by the look on noah's face that he was unsure, but suddenly it kicked in and he actually dribbled it down the court............and he took a shot!!!!! from that moment on he actually played real basketball!!! he still avoided getting rebounds, but he was passed to several more times and took about 4 shots in all. none went into the hoop, but he did it and i know that he found his confidence for the first time this season.

it is all about confidence with noah. he does not really want to try unless he knows that he can do it. he does not want to be embarrased in front of his friends, but yet he does not get respect from them out on the court because he does not try. it is a vicious cycle. but he was super pumped yesterday and he said that it was the best game ever!!!

It worked!

so i spent the better part of yesterday sleeping and steaming the snot out of my nose and by last night i had enough energy to run the kids to bball and clean my kitchen!! I know right, amazing. I will say that the steaming really loosened everything up in my sinus's and really relieved a bunch of the pressure that was making me feel horrible. So I am off to work today. Wish me luck, i have not worked all week and i will say that after i cleaned the kitchen i was back on the couch exhausted. so i know that i am not one hundred percent yet.....but i have got to try. i am going stir crazy around here. just thought i would update you guys.

one more thing

did anyone else notice that last night jack was wearing a very similiar suit and almost spot on tie to the opening scene is season 1??????? the shows creators have always said that their is something crucial in the first 10 seconds of the opening that we have missed...could it be that this is jack getting back to the island??

just a thought. hey, i am home, sick remember. i have nothing else to do except sleep a lot and watch tv. not enough energy to actually clean my house, but i can sit at a computer and blog. or maybe i am so deep into the snot filled headache that i am seeing things on lost that are not there. lol. either way, just my two cents worth.

Sacrifice

last night was a brilliant episode of lost, as it trudges through the answer phase of the show, it still raises questions and leaves you longing for more answers. There were so many aspects of last nights show that i loved, like when Jin and Sawyer hugged (seriously great), seeing danielle when she was young, Sun finding out that Jin is still alive, Desmond showing up at the church.....but my favorite moments were of Locke down at the bottom of the well.

his legs injured yet again. this man of faith again questioning why is this happening to him. where does he go from here. his ultimate decision to become a sacrifice. his knowledge that if he goes back, he will die. his asking for help, so like the old john, but in being denied that help he once again became the strong, able john locke that had found his place on this island. as he grips the wall you see his determination, as he struggles forward you see him become the john locke of faith, you see his scared look as he sees the wheel, knowing that he will die, he still moves forward to take the wheel, to carry the burden of the island, to become the sacrifice for all.

as we have seen in this show time and again, there is a spiritual reference. there is scripture for john locke, where their is science for jack shepard. who knows what the producers and writers are really trying to convey, but last night they really showcased what could be seen as Jesus's struggle in the garden, His journey to the cross, His ultimate sacrifice. I know that this is stretching it some, but it was beautifully written and acted. Terry O'Quinn you deserve awards for this show......Brilliant!!!

Ick!!!

i have got the ick. i have been sick since sunday with a major head cold and sore throat and sinus junk and well..........i am sick of being sick. i have had some little colds this year and actually a couple of stomach bugs. i usually don't get the stomach bugs, maybe once a year but nothing really major. i know that i am more sick this year than i have been only because of my exposure levels at work and that next year will be better. i even started this year off with drinking airborne and emergen-c at least once or twice a week, just to build my immunity.

but this cold that i have now, it is by far the worst. i had the worst sore throat of my adult life for a 24hr period, i felt like a whiney, crying two year old, but (damn) it hurt! so i finally moved beyond that and now it is all stuck in my head. i feel like i have been buried under a mountain of sand, my eyes are burning, my nose is running and this morning i had the hacking cough. yummo! you know i don't feel good when my kitchen is a disaster. i cannot stand for my kitchen to be dirty and let me tell you about the pile of dishes in my sink, on my counter and well everywhere else! lol.

so now i am going to go put my head into some steam and try and steam fry the "ick" out of my head and see if that helps! i just wanted you all to feel sorry for me. lol. waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa........

when mommy wins

duuuuuudeeee

clean cut

i love it when mommies when their battles. this kid has a serious aversion to getting his haircut. i have been battling him for about 2 months to go in and get it cut. but if you want to know the whole truth, i was not quite ready to let it go either. he looked so adorable in his surfer dude hair and it fits his personality so well. but when he started to shake his head to get the hair out of his eyes...i knew it was time. and frankly he looks just as good with the clean cut look too!

The New....

I just had to blog about this real quick. I have to say that Target is one of my favorite stores to shop at. I love the store, I love the deals I can find and I love their fun ads. But they have really nailed the whole "economic" crisis and reached out to consumers as they are struggling with this recession.

Their new ad campaign, "the new"..........features a family on the cover of their ad this week and the header reads "the new family movie night." Then they went on to feature movies, pop, candy all on sale this week. I thought it was super clever and unique to our climate today. But then last night I was watching the grammy's and they had a ad on tv for this new campaign....the new dog groomer (with a woman washing her own dog) the new manicure (with a husband painting his wife's nails) the new nightclub (featuring a bunch of people playing a wii) and the new vacation glow (womens skin bronzer)!

Seriously GENIUS!!!!!

If you had not noticed most retailers "claim" to be running some steep discounts to help consumers, but no one has quite promoted it like target! We as a culture really need to rethink what we do on a daily basis. It is not all about going and doing and getting.........it should be working within our budgets and within our families! It is not even that they are running things at deep discounts, but they definately caught my eye with this campaign.

Great Job Target

Why is this happening to me??

oh the laughs that we get at the expense of our children. i actually felt pretty bad for this kid, but way to go dad in getting the camera out to record it!!! enjoy!

LOST

i love LOST. I pretty much love every tv show that jj abrams has done so far! i even liked what about brian (anyone remember that one),plus alias and now fringe. i think the thing with his shows is that not only are they highly suspenseful, but they have strong relational qualities. for me lost is all about the characters; their interconnectivity and their redemption.

i am glad that we are finally in the "answer" phase of the show because for years we have been introduced to new characters, new questions and now we get to sit back and watch for the two next years as it all unravels. i know that the producers are clear cut on the direction that they are ending the show and are pushing forward with it. but i will be happier if somehow, we miracously find jin alive this season, it could happen it is the island.

i really loved last weeks episode, i thought it was fantastic. you knew that they would have to show widmore on the island at some point! they have given us clues all along that this would happen and we finally got to see it. now we will see if i can stay up for tonights episode after being gone all day! lol. i am fairly certain that charlotte is going to survive and at some point we will discover that all of the scientists were on the island before!! but i will have to keep watching and guessing!

good news

so today i was asked to pick up another 2 hours at work, which takes me up to 6 hours a day! which also means that my credit card will be payed off that much faster! hurray! i think it is going to be an okay transition because i am already used to 4 hours, but that means that my afternoon workouts are now relegated to either 5am or sometime in the evening (which really means they won't happen). i am happy that i get to go back to the classroom that i worked in this fall and i love my teacher i work with (i had to say that cuz she reads my blog now... LOL :)

but seriously, God has provided for me this year and i feel like i am moving in His direction, not my own. i am thankful for a way to get rid of our debt and do something that i absolutely love!!! unfortunately this week is also jam packed and i will be gone every night, so i am sure that by friday evening i will be ready to crash in front of the tv!

because it was a last minute decision, meaning i found out on tuesday and started on wednesday i am not fully prepared with all the groceries that i need. thank goodness i don't cook real meals on wed/thur because sometimes cooking can just take it right out of us women?? i am looking forward to the rest of the week...it will be a good one.

Happy Birthday

to my dear old dad or maybe i should just say to my dad. i hope you enjoy your new wii and have fun hooking it up! we are looking forward to seeing you this evening and celebrating your big day! hopefully the wait staff at red robin will sing for you, because you deserve it! enjoy your day! with lots of love, your daughter.

UPWARD

we are 4 games in and it has been a great season so far. both of the kids are absolutely loving it and sydnie is really become a good basketball player. Syd's team has not won a game so far, but they are trying really hard. Syd has come a long way in the 3 years she has played. She is more aggressive now and even has stolen the ball a couple of times. She has yet to make a shot this season, but it is not from lack of trying. She can make them when no one else is around her, because she has time to set up the shot and get her form just right. She is playing against 4th graders this year too and that has made a bit of a difference. Some of those girls are super tall.

Noah is just his happy go lucky self out on the court. It has caused me some stress, because when he will walk over to me while he is on the court and start talking to me about building legos when he is suppose to be playing! But if you ask him, he loves basketball so I cannot ask for more right now. He is happy and enjoying it. Although this week he finally was discouraged and said that no one will pass him the ball when he is wide open. We talked about the fact that he had to show the boys he was ready to play and would actually catch the ball when they passed it to him rather than duck away from it.

we are thankful for upward basketball and the positive reinforcement that each child receives for their efforts, no matter how big or small!