Tuesday, July 31, 2007


don't you just want to be a cat for a day. no one telling you what to do. no laundry. no cooking. no cleaning. no breaking up fights between children. no packing away old toys and clothes. no runs to goodwill. no grocery shopping. no cleaning garages out. not doing much of anything sounds good....i want to just lay around and sun myself, eat when I feel like it, roam the neighborhood and be held and pet when I feel like it. Ahhhh to be a cat.

Monday, July 30, 2007

Who wouldn't want this?

they have done it again...those women at 5 minutes for mom http://www.5minutesformom.com/2032/insignia-37inch-flat-panel-lcd-hdtv-contest/and http://www.bestbuy.com/ have designed a contest to win a 37in lcd/hdtv............thanks you guys for such great contests...if only I could win this one. My 10 year old tv could use an update....i have started to see the little lines on the screen. Actually my DH and i were going to buy a new tv day after thxgiving this year...but since we had to buy a new transmission............i guess we will have to wait another year for the new tv.

Saturday, July 28, 2007

just because

she looks great in orange.........i love her smile......her beautiful blue eyes.......i feel joy..........i feel love.......i feel peace.........i feel like her (a long time ago).......my heart is hers.

just because

he makes me laugh.......and cry...........and feel joy.......and stress..........and love.........all at once.

Taking Flight

last weekend i was able to go to women's camp up at Tadmor...the speaker was Robin Jones Gunn, a funny, witty and touching speaker. I have read many of her books and this weekend God was able to use her message to touch my heart. The last year and a half have been extremely difficult for me to navigate. Many events have transpired in that time, some good some bad and it left me with a huge gaping hole and a bitter spirit. While in the midst of all the events I turned to God and felt that I had used His strength to get through...but somewhere along the way I stopped and it came to my attention these last few months that i have been cynical and bitter and I was so tired of living that way. Anger built up, not directed at any one person but at all events. I felt myself wanting to break free....but not ready to give up the anger yet. I felt it was justified anger....I should be angry because of this, I should feel free to be mad at that person or their actions. Look at what has happened to my family because of one person's sin. Look at what has happened to my husband, I want our marriage partnership back. I want to know that he is dealing with his grief as well. I know that grief is acted out in many forms....it takes a course, it takes time, it takes true healing to move beyond it. I needed to break these bonds and in God's timing I was finally able to release the anger, cynicism and bitter spirit. All because in God's time I was at tadmor listening to a speaker who talked about letting go of what was holding you back, being able to move out of that gilded bird cage, feel your feet at the edge of the cage and then release and take flight......let your spirit soar. So after bawling my head off for a half an hour I was able to talk to a wise women who lifted our family up in prayer and has commited to praying for us.....to talk to God and ask for healing and wisdom. For repair and release. For stronger bonds and a sense of family again. For healing with extended family and God honoring relationships. For the first time in awhile I find myself actually laughing...joy has entered my heart again and I feel at peace. I know that this only comes from the release and God taking control. It is amazing that no matter how much I wanted to not fall into this, to not experience the negativity that comes from certain events, I did it anyway. But that from it my character has grown, my love for God has grown and maturity was attained. And now I don't have gray hairs growing in faster than I can clip them....come on I am only 37!!! I feel the laughter bubbling in my soul, I feel compassion again, I feel my Saviour taking hold of my soul and it feels good. Thank you to my friends who have understood my pain and stuck with me, even though I am sure there were times you wanted to put me in the looney bin. Without your love and support and honesty....I might still be stuck in angryville. I was able to express my hurt and pain to you and you listened, instead of pretending that everything was fine all the time. God put you in my life for reasons that we can never understand, but that He has proven through this last year. whew......that feels good to write it down. let it go. let it go. let it go.

Thursday, July 26, 2007


and on monday syd started her week at canyonview....this year she had her cousin from portland come with her as her buddy. it makes such a difference to be with someone and have a good time. she has had a blast this week...learning new songs, riding horses, swimming, canoeing and just being a kid. last night she had paige stay the night and tonight as well...they are so tired, but they just keep truckin' along. as we drove home from the track meet last night they sang all the songs they had learned at camp!!! i might have to pull out the camcorder and record that tonight....they are both so animated and they talk not stop together. tomorrow night we get to head up to camp and watch the kids do a little performance and eat dinner together...should be lots of fun.

Track and Field

The last two wednesdays we have gone to the all-comers track meet held in town....the kids have absolutely loved it. It probably has to do with the ribbons that they "win" even if they don't place they still get a participation award. They each have done the long jump, softball throw and 50/100m run. It is fun to watch a bunch of the little kids run with their moms/dads dragging them down the track. I think this week the kids improved on their times and distances....that was the talk we had last week "next week just beat yourself, don't worry about other people, just improve on your own time". I think it worked.......no bumming about not winning. Tried out the new camera at the event...but sun was right behind them, so they are not the best, but fun to capture the experience.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

A Day with Grandparents

yesterday we drove down to Lebanon to visit my parents for the day. The kids were exhausted, but so excited to see grandma and grandpa. My parents have the best backyard....lots of shade, great tree swing and an old fashion swing set, not to mention the back field, tractor and garden.

Both of the kids took turns on the tree swing and then noah broke out to the old swings.....he kept begging me to push him and I told him that I was talking right then....well he got bored and went to the ladder to go down. It was one of those moments that it happens so quickly there is nothing you can do, not even shout. He climbs up and I see the bee land on his shoulder, then I see about 5 other bees come out from the slide, noah looked at his shoulder, slapped at the bee then started running. It took about 10 seconds for the screaming to start and for him to realize that he had been stung. It was the first time either of my kids had been stung by a bee....luckily grandpa came to the rescue with some bee sting ointment and noah was finally able to calm down.

We finally headed to the santiam river for some fun and water play. The kids had a blast walking the river with grandpa.....mom was just not good enough. They swam, fished and sat in the river with the current running over them. It was a perfect day to be there, with the humidity it was just so sticky outside. When we drove back through Sweet Home we saw all the cars lined up for the Sportsman Holiday Fireworks show....I was tempted to stay, but I knew we had been running for days on end and that we had better drive home that night. It was a great day. Good memories.

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Beachin' It

Just got home from two wonderful days at Pacific City. Julanne and I took the kids over on thursday to hang for the day, but ended up staying the night in a cabin there. It was one of the most perfect two days at the beach ever. The weather was amazing...we all got sunburned, spent the whole day on the sand and played in the ocean. Angela joined us for the day on thursday so we also got to play with the little baby too. The kids "attempted" to make it to the top of the dune, but only to actually did it. Most stopped about halfway up. Yesterday morning we hit the beach on a seashell hunt and came back with a tooth from some sea creature...probably not a shark, but it was fun telling the boys it was. Then in the afternoon, after swimming in the pool and packing up we headed back down to the beach where we tried to park on the beach, but it was packed with at least 50 Dory boat trailers and no room to park my little van.

Kind of weird to take a van out on the beach, would much rather have had the jeep. But we figured it out for the next time we go...park the van on the beach mid-day, bring your food/campstove and eat dinner right there, waiting for the sunset and relaxing in the beach chairs while the kids play. We both laughed when we saw other people doing that...how long have we both lived in oregon and never thought about doing that. I usually would walk on the beach at sunset, but never thought about that cool idea. You learn something new everyday. Who needs a little bonfire on the beach, when you could have your whole car!!! ha ha.

We had such a hard time leaving yesterday...but this is my new beach to go to. I usually head to lincoln city for quick day trips and beverly beach/nye beach in newport for longer stays...but it I fell in love with pacific city. I have been there before many times....but this time just caught my heart. They are building these timeshares there....3 weeks a year for $80,000!!!!!!!!! Sure I can do that. ha ha.

You notice that I have no pictures from this trip and you do not know how much I am dying to have a camera..........but I have been a good girl and I am waiting to hear from Canon to see if they can fix my point and shoot. It is teaching me much patience and wisdom. Actually it was nice to just be in the moment rather than behind the lens all the time. Okay I confess I took a couple of pictures on my phone!!! Couldn't stand it any longer.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Funny Sayings...

My daughter is the funniest thing...and she says the best things ever. Last week we were at Costco shopping around and sydnie saw the ipods (she is saving her allowance to buy one) I told her she should buy it here at costco (secretly she needs to buy it on craigslist or ebay for $$$)...she says that she would rather buy it at Target because it is cleaner, the store is brighter and the aisle's are better.....what seven year old thinks of that?

So yesterday we were in portland for most of the day visiting friends and I took her to Limited Too for girls time and some shopping. She absolutely loves this store, it has become her favorite, unfortunately not mine (super expensive, but super cute). So last night I was telling her that the next time we went shopping it would be at old navy, children's place or gap. She says "oh that would be disturbing...the aisles are too small, there are too many people and the clothes are so boring". I almost could not make it out the room before I broke down in laughter.....who says that?

She is the funniest kid ever and I am glad that she is in my life.

Friday, July 06, 2007

Camping, the 4th and Grieving

WOW.....what a week. We decided to head up to Suttle Lake for a family camping trip. Just the kids and thad and I. It was great. We had such a good time hiking around the lake, swimming, fishing and playing games. For the first time in our married history I was able to convince thad to roast hot dogs over the fire and eat cereal on the morning we had to pack up and leave. I know that this is very common camping food, but not for us. It has to be good food all the time, nothing simple and easy. Last year I was able to sneak a hamburger helper into our meals camping....he actually went for it. So I did that again this year.....ahhhh freedom to be simple.

When we got home from camping it was time to celebrate the 4th.........I went out to Silverton Days with some friends and shopped around out there. Found this adorable old green bread box and some great pictures to hang upstairs. Then we went swimming and barbeque at my MIL's. and if that was not enough we ran up to the Heinz's and spent the rest of the evening watching fireworks, holding the baby and watching the kids run wild. Some relatives were in town so Sydnie had a great time playing with the girls, because normally it is all boy all the time up there.

But the biggest news..............my camera broke while camping. This is some serious grief for me. Taking pictures is like breathing for me. So now we are on the hunt. I really want the nikon d80, but I don't have $1,000 right now. I had just about convinced thad that we should get the nikon d40.........but I think I will have to settle for a simple point and shoot. The stinky thing is that I won't be able to load those pictures from my card to my computer...I will have to go to costco and pay to put them on a cd or just print them.

So that is the skinny over here........today we are going swimming with cousins and then playdate with school friends and raspberry jam. Full day.