Friday, April 03, 2009

on getting old

you always hear the tales....the sagging, the metabolism, the internal body thermometer and when you are young you chalk them up to your crazy mom and her friends. well i am about there people and i am hear to say that i want my old body back.

the other day i woke up and i thought to myself as i looked in the mirror, "where did my eyebrows go?" isn't this suppose to be something that happens when you are about 50? i am only 29 (again)!!! i don't want the painted on eyebrow look. i refuse to do it, but sadly i am doomed because my mom does not have any eyebrows left. literally. she is 63 and no eyebrows. i remember distinctly the day i looked at her and asked her where her eyebrows went. so sadly i am at the point, when i remember, where i enhance my eyebrows with a little powder so that you can actually see them. i don't think it is so much that i have lost hair it is that they are slowly fading into oblivion.

a couple of months ago i got these super cute post earrings and i wear them all the time, but suddenly they don't hang the way they used to. i notice that when i wear them, they flop down a little. could this be the dreaded "my earlobes hang down farther than my nose" phenomenom that older women talk about? when i was young i remember older women telling me not to wear big earrings that pulled my lobes down even further, because the day would come when they would sag i was careful what amount of weight i put into those holes in my ears. it did not matter. so now i am forced to wear drop earrings so that you will not look at my post earrings and see the sag, the granny ears that i am doomed to have.

by the hair on my chiny-chiny chin..........okay i am not there yet!!! but seriously what is up with having to shave your chin and mustache? my MIL keeps a razor in the car and just swipes at hair on her chin whenever she notices it!!! eeeewwwwwwwwwwwww.

we all know that we are going to sag, that is inevitable unless we get some "enhancements". i am fine with that, as long as i have some muscle tone underneath it all. i don't want to be a grandma that never wears shorts or short sleeves because of the sag.

so next time you see me, please don't stare at my waning eyebrows or my sagging lobes. just politely say hi and then continue to stare in their general direction until i relent and let you take a look at my aging body hair and grandma lobes!


kim w. said...

oh girl, you are too funny!!! you have beautiful lobes!

Julanne said...

You know now that we read this that of course we're going to stare at your lobes and brows! I totally sympathize with you on all accounts by the way!