Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves
If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.
Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas
When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer hates lemonade.
1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.
If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.
When bad things happen to good people, its probably fate. When bad things happen to bad people, it’s probably Jack Bauer
...and on the seventh day Jack Bauer said, "I'll take it from here."
When Jack Bauer ran out of ammo, he caught 3 bullets in his chest and used them to reload
Jack Bauer sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
You can tell how much Jack Bauer likes you by how far above your kneecap he shoots you.
Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.