Did anyone else watch the special on TLC about Purity Balls? I have been processing this today, not really sure how I feel about it. Let me state that I believe in purity for my kids. That they save themselves for their spouses, but I will admit that it really disturbed me to watch these little 5 year old girls parroting what their parents had taught them about staying pure and waiting. They were so little, do they really understand? But then on the same hand, you have to start training them young with the right way. Because before you know it they are grown and talking about boyfriends and all that good stuff. It happens so quickly.
I don't know.......I just thought some good discussion could come out of it. I think that it really bugged me when the 11 year old girl was talking to the interviewer and she was sitting next to her dad and every time she would answer a question, her eyes would shift towards her dad and she was extremely nervous.
But I also love that dads "date" their daughters, because it really is true that your first experience with men is through your father. And how you view your heavenly father is ultimately decided by how your father treats you.
I am just not sure. I believe in praying for my children and their decisions now, things that will affect them. That they will meet their spouse and be pure. I believe in talking with your children and helping them along that path through prayer and open honest communication. But a ball? Now discuss..................can you tell i am all across the board with this right now. sometimes talking about a concept like this can help me sort through what i am thinking.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Did anyone else see?
Posted by Rochelle at 6:25 PM
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5 comments:
I wanted to watch this one...but forgot and did not add it to my DVR. So I can't respond directly regarding the show but I do have a few thoughts. We have already started the "daddy dates" but the girls are never talked to about the thought behind it. I just think it is setting a good framework in their minds for special dates and how they should be treated, you know the setting the standard! I don't even talk or think, for my girls that it is even close to time to explain boy/girl dating or anything in that category. Addie is not at all aware or even curious. I know that the "age" differs depending on the kid. I am of the mind set that I am willing to be a little dorky to help keep them age appropriate for as long as possible. I know its not like the world we live in, but why do we have to conform fully on every issue? While some issues may be old hat for some of their friends by the time it is new and exciting, well I don't feel bad about that. Sorry.
As far as the idea of a ball. Well, I am torn! I think it is really cool to create a celebration to honor such a wonderful decision, but I also think that this stuff is kind of private. I am currently leaning towards a special weekend away with just mom and dad and the daughter "of age" where we get to just openly talk and answer questions regarding this whole issue. Just my two cents right now, but I am not walking through this right now and I may totally change my mind when the time comes...we will see.
I totally agree with the away weekend i have every intention of taking syd on a mom/daughter weekend when we have "that" talk and also when she starts the dreaded puberty time. I am totally of the mindset that I shelter my kids and want to protect them from the "world" too, especially given todays environment where sex is all the rage. I think it was the ball thing that really threw me over the edge...to showy and over the top for me personally. I agree it is a private decision. Interesting topic to debate.
I thought that it was a little over the top extreme. I think that praying and talking with your kids about God's perfect plan for them and having that open conversation with your kids should be enough. I do think that daddy dates are sweet and a great idea for some one on one time together. That one girl on the show that turned away from it was totally messed up! So i think being too rigid can certainly backfire on you. Ultimately, we as parents can only help guide our children but they are their own little people with thoughts and feelings so they will do what is right for them and we can only pray it is somewhere close to what we have taught them!!
I didn't see it, but the whole issue of a "ball" is a little weird. It seems like it is more for the parents than the kids? I also think that it is kind of a private discussion--one that definitely needs to happen and be an ongoing topic of conversation, but it seems like the ball might pressure kids. I know it is a ways down the road for us, thank goodness!
I also thought that the idea of it is really good, and it might be fun to have a formal dress up date with your daddy...you know how us girls love to dress up. I remember having Daddy dates and feeling so special and excited to spend time with just him. But I agree that it was a bit over the top and extreme and I noticed that some of the girls had the right answers to the questions they asked, but you could tell that they were reciting them and didn't really know the full meaning/reason behind it. I really don't want my 5 year old knowing what sex is, and I don't think she would even understand it if I tried to explain it. It also broke my heart that the girl who made a mistake and got pregnant is now not able to have a relationship with her parents and show them how much she loves the man she is with. Doesn't the Bible teach us to love our children unconditionally, not just when they do things our way?? I think that there were good things to take away from the program and things to put away in the back of our heads in the "not such a good idea" file. Thanks for the discussion! :)
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